There was a time when I loved you, when your touch would send chills up my spine, when your body lying next to mine would fill me with warmth and wonder. You gave me so much happiness, so much sadness, but I loved you for your beauty. But now, I love you no more. I know that you stole from my bed to sleep with another. Where did he touch you, Hollywood? Which hole did that bastard put his cock in that you were so infatuated with him? Oh and then I found out HE wasn't the only one you laid with. I got pictures of you fucking the hell out of Micheal Bay and his dog, then McG and then Joel fucking Schumaker. You are a slut. You are a whore. You make me sad. I know what you did with M Night Shyamalan. Such a nice kid. You betrayed him. You made him sucky. And then you forced him to do the Last Airbender and now he's depressed and contemplating suicide. Final Destination, while not being flawless, was extremely watchable. But you HAD to reduce it to pathetic shit levels. And its director? You subjected him to torture and made him ruin my childhood. I know this is all a pathetic revenge plan you fucking slut. You raped Dragonball and reduced it to utter shit levels. I hate you. I fucking hate you. And now, you are torturing Universal Studios. You are making them do a movie about cards and monsters. Based on a fucking anime. A fucking pathetic anime known as Bakugan. Bakugan, of all things? Baku-fucking-gan? And that too you're getting one of the most pathetic directors of all time to do it. I know you won't stop torturing me. So you will make a Naruto now, or a Bleach or Death Note starring that Justin Bieber bitch and then maybe we'll get a Pokemon movie as well.
You sadden me. I hate you. And I am breaking up with you.
Your jilted lover
Bob Uzumaki
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